It’s taken me ages to get round to writing this post. Partly because I’ve been so busy, partly because I wasn’t quite sure what to write, and partly because I couldn’t be arsed.
I’ve been back over 8 weeks I think. In my head it feels a bit longer and a bit shorter all at once. Rollercoaster with loads going on. Catching up with lots of friends and family, trips daaaaan South interspersed with job applications and sorting out paperwork and shit.
It’s been really strange. Right now, it seems like all those experiences and all my travel was a long, long time ago. A bit of a distant memory. And yet I’m not ‘back to normality’. Whatever that is. You see, my normality now is a bit different I guess. I’ve learnt lots, seen lots that can’t be undone. I don’t want to live the same life I did before, as easy as that would be. My normality right now is flitting from one place and having lots of free time, although I know that will change. Which I’m looking forward to. Having my own base, even though the new job I’ve got (oh yes, I’ve got a job but that’s maybe another post) is going to mean I’m all over the place during the week.
I wanted to write about how I felt about finishing travelling and coming home. And it’s weird, because it’s pretty much changed every day so I’ve never been sure when or what to write. I didn’t know how I would feel, so I’ve just been rolling with it. I’ve had to adjust a bit, and get used to living in limbo for a while. At the moment I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m just a hobo that’s still a hobo, even when in familiar places surrounded by familiar people. It’s quite unsettling.
I’ve come back from travelling even less sure about stuff than before. Everything seems to have been tilted and flipped upside down. More options have been opened. It just kind of feels like I have even more choices than before now, because I know what’s out there and I know it’s all possible. And I seem to have become indecisive and fluffy.
I had an absolute ball travelling. I really did. Having some time out of life and to be able to spend my time doing what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it was brilliant. Exploring all those countries and meeting all those people; it was incredible. My life feels so much richer for having done it. My life has been changed and will never be the same again, but yet I feel here I am back in Lincolnshire feeling like actually nothing has changed. I guess I’m waiting for the next bit of my life to start, which I feel will happen once I start my new job and find somewhere to live again. My job starts in a couple of weeks but I’ll have to wait a couple of months before I get my own place. So, I’m determined to still enjoy each moment, and not sit waiting for something to happen.
I suspect this post is a bit waffly; but that’s kind of how my brain feels right now. A bit jumbled, a bit fluffy and not quite with it. I wonder whether that’s a result of being back in a comfort zone that I’ve not been in for over a year? It’s confused me. I kind of feel like I need a bit of time to myself, to reflect and think about what I want, but yet being back around people I know has meant I also crave that company. Maybe because subconsciously this all still feels temporary and I know sometime soon I’m going to be moving on again. Not travelling, but I’m going to be busy, less available and more than likely living alone in a new city, where I know that although it’s not a million miles away, after a few novelty visits I’ll probably not see a lot of people that often. Real life will get in the way, people have other commitments, families etc. and I’ll just become that old friend who doesn’t live close by any more. Oh I know I’ll make new friends, and have things to keep me occupied, and I’m looking forward to a new challenge and again it will probably end up being one of the best things I’ll ever have done, but right now it’s these kind of things that make me feel like I don’t quite fit or belong anywhere right now.
I was going to write a travel round up post, but it’s not really happened. I suppose I’ve told a lot of you in person some of my travel tales by now, so it seems a bit late in the day. And also I’ve written about my travels as I’ve gone along, so I’d hate to repeat myself. But, here’s a little round up, based on the questions I’ve tended to have been asked since I’ve been back. Oh, and if you want to know anything specific about any part of my trip, just ask me :)
- Favourite country: Australia – mainly Tasmania just because of my biking adventure. I had the most amazing time, challenged myself and met some wonderful people. I’d never done anything like it before and didn’t even know if I could. Well, I know now.
- Favourite sight: Taj Mahal – it’s really is a sight that took my breath away. It’s the most beautiful building I have ever seen.
- Saddest moment: Saying goodbye to my little Irish pal after our wonderful week together in New Zealand. I think this was probably the only time I cried while I was away. I do wonder what he’s up to now, I really wish I had his contact details.
- Weirdest food eaten – fried bugs/insects in SE Asia. They didn’t really taste of a lot but it took me a while to eat one. Probably wouldn’t do it again.
- Worst moment: Gravel hell day cycling over 40 km of gravel road in Tasmania in 35+ heat, no shade and hills after taking a wrong turning.
- Best thing about travelling: The people. I heard it so many times before I went away from other travellers but it really is true. I met loads and loads of people, all of them wonderful in their own way. Some of which will be friends for a long time, some of which I will never see or speak to again because it was just a fleeting encounter. All will have changed me or my perceptions in some way, no matter how small the meeting.
- Item I wouldn’t have been without: my iPhone. I could do (and did) everything on there. From making phone calls, checking my emails, taking photos, my banking, confirming flight details, accessing my travel documents, using the compass and maps and everything in between. I’d have been lost without it (literally, in some cases).
- Best item: my travel tap bottle from Drinksafe systems. It’s a drinks bottle with a water filter that makes any kind of water safe – really handy in those countries where it’s not advised to drink the water, especially as a lot of those countries also then have environmental issues due to plastic bottles.
- Best ‘bottle-that’ moment: there’s so many really. Too many to list, each that little bit different. Like in SE Asia with Nick, getting to a new place and finding somewhere to have a beer and watching the sun set while putting the world to rights. With that on-holiday relaxed feeling, nowhere to be or nothing to do but just enjoy the moment. Or the view from the top of Mt John at Lake Tekapo. It was a steep climb, made harder by my broken rib but the view at the top was one of the first glimpses for me at the South Island scenery. I was transfixed and just sat there for about an hour, just staring and thinking. Or the nights spent star gazing in Zambia, Laos and New Zealand. Each one of these was with different people and there’s just something special about laying on the ground looking up at the stars and chatting about everything and anything. There’s also the moment I walked (well ran) through arrivals at Heathrow and saw my parents waiting for me.
- Best item of clothing: my Salomon walking shoes/trainers. They were so bloody comfy, I wore them everywhere. They’re a completely different colour now than when I started but not really worn at all, still in good shape and keep my feet toasty and dry. I’ll be keeping ‘em until they fall apart.
- Most painful moment: Breaking my rib. Or rather, the days after I broke my rib. The actual break didn’t hurt at all, probably due to the large amount of beer I’d imbibed. I didn’t go to the hospital or take any painkillers until 5 days later. Why the hell not I have no idea, I think I only realised how much it hurt after I’d taken the super-strong painkillers from the hospital and noticed the change.
I was going to write about what I learnt, but I suspect there’s so much it would take me ages. There’s the stuff I know I’ve learnt and the stuff I don’t know but have still learnt (if you know what I mean?). I know I’ve changed, even if you don’t think I have. I had to do loads of things out of my comfort zone. Things I just did, because you have to do. Just getting on with it, because things needed doing. There was no one else to do it for me. Patience, practicality, difficult conversations or situations. Figuring stuff out, making things, teaching people, budgeting, planning. All that shizzle. Loving and liking your own company. Making decisions, choosing stuff.
Travel HAS made me a better person I think, a better version of me. I’m a bit more focused in some ways about what I missed when I was away and what’s important to me. I’ve always been up for trying new things, but even more so now. I know things aren’t that scary, and feel a lot more laid back and chilled about things.
I’m pretty sure there will be some more travel for me in time, but right now I’m looking forward to the future, whatever it looks like. At the moment I don’t know, and in some ways it’s nice to just let it unfold before me. That’s part of the adventure right? And my adventure right now is what most people would call life or normality. Whatever you do in life, it’s all an adventure. After all, it’s what you make of it, so I’m going to make sure I spend mine filled with things and people that make me happy. After all, you only get one, right?
And right now, I am mainly spending time running and biking in the summer sunshine, making the most of all my free time before I become a corporate slave again. And I am absolutely LOVING it. I realise now how much running (and other exercise) is a part of me now. Because it’s what I love doing. I don’t do it because I HAVE to, I do it because I WANT to. I don’t do it because I want to look a certain way, I do it because I ENJOY it.