If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that I have a shitty cold and feel pretty awful, and am wondering why the hell no one has come up with a cure for the common cold yet. I’d tell you it’s on the back of me resting for a week having injured myself falling off my bike. I’d tell you how bloody unfair that feels, and how spoilt and childish I feel for thinking that way. And how I hate starting a blog post so negatively, but it’s the first thing I feel today.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that I totally get how you feel about having the time and headspace to write. I’ve had a few articles in my head, only to struggle to put them down on paper (so to speak). I’d tell you though, that I did stop procrastinating on my assignments for my journalism course, and got the results back – only about 2 minor (constructive) comments. I’d tell you it gave me a massive boost that maybe I can do it.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you I’ve been cooking from the Lean in 15 cookbook. There are so many tasty recipes in there, but I’m not quite following the pre/post workout bit; I need to get better at that bit. I’d tell you I have a fairly healthy diet, I just have a big appetite for chocolate and cake too, and can’t seem to just have a little bit when I eat them. But I’d tell you that it’s not really for weight/image reasons (I’m quite happy with what I look like), it’s for health and performance reasons, but that I’m not disciplined enough to follow something strictly and ‘eat to perform’, but that often I do wonder what would happen if I actually did, what I’d be able to achieve.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how I have ideas for a new blog and papject (Paps project) but how every time I come to do some work on it I seem to have some kind of keyboard paralysis. I’d tell you that actually, I think it’s a confidence thing, and how I think I’m a little bit scared about what people might think and that it’s not good enough. I’d tell you I’m not sure where this has come from, as usually I don’t give a shit about what people think. I’d tell you that not having a TV can lead to more social media time, spent following amazing people doing amazing things and subsequently feeling inadequate.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that the way I fit my cleaning in, as well as training and a job, is to prioritise what I spend my time doing. It helps that I live in a small flat, but I try to be creative with my time. For example, fitting in morning swims and runs before work, so I can keep my weeknights free. Getting rid of my TV so I don’t spend hours in front of it, not really watching anything. I’d tell you I also went part time (4 days a week) to get a better work life balance. I’d tell you I clean little and often, rather than leave it to one big chunk that can seem insurmountable and take up precious weekend free time.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how frustrated I feel at not being able to do much ‘proper’ exercise in the last week and a bit. It’s really not long, but it feels a lifetime. I’d tell you how scared that kind of makes me about my life if at any point something happens so I can’t do so much active stuff. But I’d also tell you, that makes me more determined to make the most of it while I can; to keep maxing the shit out of life and doing the things I want to do.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you all about the plans I’m starting to think about for a January adventure. I’d tell you I’m desperately hoping my boss says yes to my leave request. I’d tell you about how excited I am for what I might be doing.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how happy I am though, even with a cold and not being able to do stuff temporarily. How grateful I am to be healthy and fit on the whole, and how lucky I am to surround myself with great people and have the freedom to go do the stuff I want to, when I want to. I’d tell you making the decision to leave my marriage pretty much 5 years ago to the day is something I think of often, mainly because of how I have changed my life beyond recognition and actually, how it’s something I tried to sweep under the carpet as no big deal, but now realise it actually was. A fucking massive big deal. And how I’m not going to apologise for that, but rather acknowledge it.
Finally Clare, if we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how much I like reading your blog posts, and how I think sometimes you give yourself a hard time. I’d say it’s all about balance, and how sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Be kind to yourself 🙂
Let’s keep it going readers. If we were having coffee today what would YOU tell me?